


Kings of Cabaret

by Longcat



Category: Kings of Con (Web Series)
Genre: Belly Dancing, Dancing, Hilarity Ensues, Song and dance, Stripping, Sword Dancing, cabaret, flexing, sparkly codpieces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-24 20:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12020514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Longcat/pseuds/Longcat
Summary: The crew needs to raise money for a fundraiser. Matt and Sue turn it into a contest, Chip surprises everyone.





	Kings of Cabaret

**Author's Note:**

> Art by My_untold_lies  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/12050427

The silence in the greenroom wasn’t a good sign. The snack table had been raided between panels and wrappers littered the area, several different colored markers were mixed among the trash. A whiteboard had been wheeled in and set up near one of the walls. Across the top of the board read in the neatest handwriting, “Fundraiser Ideas” complete with an underline and an exclamation point. Most of the writing under it was illegible, it was the first and last time that anyone would ask Rob “Shakes-a-lot” Bennet to record things for them. Next to the mess of scribbles was a drawing of what could have been a dinosaur. Osric swore it was a Pokemon, no one else knew what he was talking about.

“So, what did we come up with?” Sue asked taking in the state of the whiteboard, she had just finished her panel and was already making a stop at the drinks table where a bucket of ice was holding her favorite “creamer”. A grumbling reply was all she got as she poured herself a generous drink. Looking around the room she saw that most everyone had a look of defeat about them, even the ever perky Chip was looking confused and dejected. “Nothing? Really? Come on guys, we’re asked to come up with something that we can do to raise money for IAMALIVE.”

“Why do you care so much about this Sue?” Rich grumbled from where he was lounged across a couch, hidden under a pillow that he had pressed over his face. He had a point, Sue rarely cared about much that they got ‘contracted’ into doing. She was usually the first to bitch and moan about it and Rich was usually right there with her for most of them. But this one she had become the de-facto leader trying to corral them into coming up with something that would bring in the most money for the cause.

“Because, you dunderhead, this is something that actually means something. And don’t try to tell me that you’ve never had a morning where you were upset that you woke up alive.” She kicked at his legs until he swung them off the edge of the couch forcing him to change his position from laying across the couch to sitting and giving her enough room to fall back into the cushions. Squinting her eyes, she tried to read the white board,

“Auction? Of what exactly? It’s not like we can get a hold of the prop department for extras they’ve got laying around. Bake sale? Really? I don’t have access to a kitchen, did any of you guys get a suite? Didn’t think so.”

“Pardon, but I just thought of an idea.” Serge had a smile that on anyone else would have been innocent, but on his face the rest of them knew it was anything but. Rich groaned into the pillow he had kept over his head, he didn’t want to hear what lascivious idea he had come up with now. His first idea was to sell themselves for date nights for fans, but that was quickly shot down because of the potential for it become an illegal activity especially knowing Serge’s proclivities. The idea was on the board but had multiple strike throughs and in a different handwriting next to it was a note that said, “NO PROSTITUTION!”

“...Go ahead.” She slowly opened the floor of discussion to him ready to jump in should his idea go too far. Sue had the same reservations that Rich did about whatever his idea was. However, given that they didn’t have any good or viable ideas up on the board yet she was willing to at least hear him out. They really needed to come up with something and quick.

“A burlesque show.” Serge announced with a crooked smirk. “Some music, a little dancing, and taking off a couple of layers. C’est tres chaud. And the fans will be throwing singles on the stage at us!”

“Hey that’s not actually a bad idea.” Matt perked up at the idea of being able to take his shirt off for the crowds. He had a borderline unhealthy obsession with his body and showed it off whenever the chance came up. And if this could be their ticket to raising the contract required funds then he was behind it one-hundred percent.

“Woah, woah, woah! Easy enough for you to say Mr. Abs. But some of us are not twenty or thirty anymore. And maybe have twenty or thirty extra pounds around the midsection instead.” Rich threw the pillow that had been blocking the light out across the room in protect, his typically well tamed hair a mess from the pillow. He had this image in his head of corsets and fishnets and was not comfortable with that idea at all.

“I think it could work. We could each plan for about a five-minute show, it doesn’t have to be stripping but hey that would definitely bring in more money. Got any other talents Rich? Sucking cock isn’t a talent we can showcase, sorry.” Sue teased him as she finished off her drink. The burlesque idea was probably the best idea they would come up with and would draw a good crowd and in turn a good amount of money for the fundraiser. The fact that it was technically a variety show meant that they could potentially show off other skills instead of stripping, but they would still have to be done to music.

“Oh, this would be a perfect time to show off my sword dancing skills!” Osric piped up in excitement, fingers flying across the screen of his phone. He continued to text unaware that the whole room had stopped to stare at him after his admission. He looked up when he felt that all eyes were on him, a few eyebrows were raised in question.

“I learned it during a summer internship with the Red Silk Dancers in New York. They taught all the interns if there was interest and it helped me brush up on my Chinese.” He shrugged his shoulders as if it was something that was a normal thing that everyone had the opportunity to experience. Turning back to his phone he sent out a few more texts before the rest of the room returned to their planning.

“How about we make this a bit more of a challenge?” Matt offered, a smirk growing on his face. He didn’t usually offer to make challenges unless he was certain he would come out on top, so usually the others were a bit apprehensive to take him up on it. Expect for Sue, who would take any challenge simply for the challenge. She liked to show up the others so even if she lost the challenge she would usually come out the winner in a different way. She immediately raised an eyebrow in intrigue at what he would come up with. “We turn this into a contest. Whoever can raise the most money from their show wins.”

“What will I win?” Sue quipped back, certain that she already had this in the bag. She had been taking belly and pole dancing classes to help her stay in shape recently, it was something she hadn’t told the others for obvious reasons, but now she was really glad that her classes were about to pay off.

“Haha, we’ll see about that Sue. Most of our fans are females and won’t spend a dime to watch you do anything other than bitch and complain, but that’s already your usual panel, isn’t it?” Matt was quick to insult her, “Winner gets drinks from everyone else next con.”

“You’re on pretty boy, and you’re going dowwwn.” Sue emphasized with a thumb down gesture, quickly followed by flipping him off. He gave her his best bitch face before leaving the green room for his own panel. The competition was going to be easy; Matt had no rhythm, she had seen him trying to dance before. Serge might be good but he did everything too quickly and she had the idea that his routine would just involve a lot of grinding and humping the air. Rich had already lost the competition as far as she was concerned and she didn’t have high hopes for Rob either. The win was practically in her hands already.

“Alright, burlesque variety show it is.” She announced as she pushed off the couch and made her way to the white board. Picking up the erasure she wiped through the other ideas and part of the monster drawing, and wrote in big uppercase letters 'Burlesque show. Contest for most tips, winner gets drinks.' She smugly dropped the marker on the snack table and left the room so that she could practice her routine away from prying eyes.

Rich took over the couch again, grabbing the other pillow to pull over his face in defeat. He didn’t want to buy either Sue or Matt drinks, Sue could drink them all under the table and Matt had expensive tastes. But he didn’t have an alternative talent like Osric did, unless juggling counted. Last time they were contracted to do a variety show he had used his juggling to disastrous effects. He was going to really need to pull something big out to bring in the money if he wanted to win this.

“What’s going on chief?” Rob’s voice rang out cutting through the fog of his thoughts. He had blissfully been out of the room during the exchange of the latest ideas and didn’t know of the new plan yet. Rich pulled the pillow from his face, his expression still glum and dark rings under his eyes punctuating his mood. Rob’s smile disappeared replaced with a look of confusion. “Did someone die?”

“Not quite Bobbo, but our chances of winning this new competition are about on par with golden boy Chip here. Sue and Matt have rigged a contest, winner gets drinks from everyone next con.” The words felt sour coming out of his mouth, he really didn’t feel like he had much of a chance of winning. But at least he wouldn’t be alone, he nodded at the younger man sitting across the room who was cheerfully doing his own thing, no longer looking like he had been stood up on a date. Rich didn’t understand why though, Chip was sunshine and rainbows compared to the rest of them and was too pure to have anything for the show that would get him any tips. He had sung hymns last time they had done a talent show. He should be more worried than he was showing, and that was making Rich worried.

“Uhh… What am I missing?” Rob asked taking a seat on the arm of the couch. His fingers were wrapped around a mug of what was probably only half coffee. Looking around the room he took in the other actors; Osric was on his phone, nothing new there, Serge was taking off and putting on his shirt repetitively, nothing new there either, and Chip was, well, being Chip. The only thing that said something was different and cause for anxiety was Rich himself.

“The fundraiser. They’ve decided that we’re doing a burlesque show for tips.” Rich complained, running his hand nervously through his hair. The nervous actions were causing his hair to look stringy instead of fluffy like it usually did.

“Oh.” Rob’s voice dropped in acceptance of the news. He finally got why Rich was worked up about this, “We stand no chance against Matt and his perfect abs and his perfect hair.”

“You got that right” Rich responded to what Rob had thought he had said in his own mind. “The best we can hope for is not coming in last. What have you got for our gig?”

“Well, there’s more to a burlesque than stripping, actually most of a cabaret show is about music and humor. And, well, we got both of those in spades.” Rob quickly turned his frown into a smile when he remembered exactly what was included in these kinds of shows. They wouldn’t have to strip or do a thousand push-ups like Matt was probably planning.

“So, you’re saying I can crack jokes while you play on the guitar? Broheim! You’re a genius! We got this! Meet me at the bar tonight and we can come with ideas” Rich got up clapping his hand on Rob’s shoulder causing him to knock forward. He left the room with a fist pump, nearly kicking the door open in excitement.

“Don’t call me broheim!” Rob shouted at him as the door closed behind Rich’s exit.

~*~*~*~

The weekend went by quickly for once as everyone tried to keep out of each other’s ways. More so for the fear of spying on their own project than trying to mess with the others. Although there was some of that going on between Matt and Sue as they tried to sabotage each other without actually doing any work. It was an incredible combination of desire to win and being very lazy and not wanting to do any additional work. Sue had gone so far as to drink all of the Everclear so that Matt wouldn’t have any for his smoothies. Matt tried retaliating by hiding the vodka in the green room, that didn’t work because Sue seemed to have an unending supply of it, or was just that good at sniffing booze out.

Maury took the position of the host very quickly and with a level of excitement that surprised the others. No one was expecting that he would be so excited about the burlesque theme and certainly no one was expecting him to show up in a large wig and a poorly fitting sequined dress. And yet there he was calling himself Madam Phanci Badum and trying to organize their line up and music for the night.

“Ok. We pulled sticks and we’re going to start off with Osric and his Uhuru fan dance-“He started off trying to explain what they were all doing. He had already gotten in touch with a couple of the handlers who were trying to corral the actors and get their music from them.

“Jian Wu Sword dancing, Maury. And who’s Uhuru?” Osric interrupted, for once he wasn’t playing on his phone. Instead he had somehow managed to come up with an ornate looking sword complete with a long scarf of fabric hanging off the grip.

“Who’s Uhuru? Who’s Uhuru?? My god boy, she was the Catwoman to Kirk’s Batman!” Maury's hand flew up to his overstuffed chest as he sounded flabbergasted and off put by Osric’s ignorance of something he considered to be a television classic. It was clear he was ready to go on and on about how important this particular character was when Osric interrupted him again.

“Uh, whatever. Just make sure the music starts on cue and I’m good.” He said turning away with a small compact mirror in his hands so he could touch up his make-up.

“After Oz, Serge, then Rob and Rich as a duo, Sue, Matt and finale with Chip.” Maury returned to the explanation of the night’s line-up. It had actually worked out fairly well as far as breaking up the different routines. The fact that Sue and Matt were back to back just meant that they were going to be upping their competitive nature and putting even more effort into this.

“We could just end with me flexing and getting all the money thrown at me, just saying.” Matt said completely confident that he had this whole thing in the bag. He had his idea of what the audience wanted and that was him and his body, and he was ready to give it to them. Although he wasn’t going to admit it, he was curious what the others were going to do, he didn’t think he had ever seen a sword dance before. However, he knew that their chance of getting to watch the other actors do their shows was slim and that they would probably have to watch it when it inevitably got put up online later by some fan.

“You wish, they won’t have any money left for you once they see my show.” Sue shot back at him full of her own bravado despite being wrapped in a giant fluffy bathrobe to maintain her secrecy of what she was doing. The egos of the two of them were battling it out for sure, and would continue to until the final numbers came in and crowned one of them the winner. The others weren’t even on her radar as far as the contest went.

Chip was still nowhere to be seen but handler Beth wasn’t looking too worried about it. She was currently trying to argue with Serge about his excessive amount of body glitter and sequins as he was starting to look like a human disco ball. He was trying to assure her that it all matched his codpiece and everything would be fine. She did not look like everything was going to be fine about him in a codpiece, she was ready to start doing damage control on the off chance that authorities were called in for public indecency.

Rob had his guitar and was nervously plucking at the strings, Rich sat near him trying to be supportive and not become a source of anxiety himself. That involved him not pulling at the sparkly threads of their matching vests, which were kind of itchy and kept scratching against his skin when he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You got this Bobbo,” He whispered, reaching out placing his hand over his knee and giving it a gentle squeeze. Rob stopped his playing just long enough to look up at Rich with a warm smile. The simple action didn’t exactly calm him but it did remind him that he wasn’t doing this alone.

Maury signaled that the show was ready to start with a dropping of the house lights and the start of some soft background music. He threw the curtains back with a flourish and flounced up on stage. The laughter and howls of the audience were audible from the back where everyone else was prepping and waiting. He warmed up the audience with some jokes and some teases about the night’s performances getting louder laughter and more screams.

“-And welcome to Lady Phanci Badum’s Cabaret! We’ve got some real treats in for you, and I’m not just talking about eye-candy! The talents are collecting tips tonight based on their performances and how much you liked it. And it’s for a good cause, all money donated tonight will be given to the boy’s IAMALIVE charity. To make things fair we’re going to have buckets with each actor’s name on it at the front of the stage, you can drop in money at any time during the show and all of it will be added up to be given to the boy’s during their panel tomorrow.” Maury explained the fundraiser portion of the show without going into detail about the backstage bets going on.

“Up first is the incredibly talented Osric! He’s going to be doing something special with his sword, and not that! Get your minds out of the gutter ladies! Let’s welcome him on stage.” He left stage right as Osric came in stage left, the spot lights dimming as they took their places, music slowly starting up. A long sword started at his side and quickly became an extension of his own body as he began his dance.

The whole thing was flashy and exotic, drawing oohs and aahs from the crowd. More screams came from the crowd when he tore his shirt off near the end of his display, his body glistening in sweat as he continued to battle an invisible opponent with flourishes of the sword’s blade. He finished with a showy flip that tumbled into a low bow, the move earning him a few gasps followed by generous applause.

Maury took back to the stage as Osric left, he entertained the audience while Serge prepared to take to it. Backstage Osric collapsed into a chair, sweat dripping from his forehead as he chugged a bottle of water.

“Five minutes is longer than I remember it being.” He said once he finished the water. His eyes twinkled showing that he was having fun and had enjoyed himself on stage. “And as of right now, I have the most tips.”

“We shall see, I have yet to take the stage, Ah! And there is my cue!” Serge commented as the music started, Maury passed him as he sashayed and gyrated right up on the stage.

There were definite screams during Serge’s performance, but from the back it was hard to tell if they were screams of excitement or of terror. He gyrated and humped his way through his song, layers flying off until he was down to a heavily sequined codpiece that left very little to the imagination. It really did match the make-up and body glitter that he was wearing. Beth had broken into the creamer herself, unwilling to believe that they had agreed on Serge’s thinly veiled idea of a striptease for the fans. The only consolation was that they had all signed paperwork declaring that they were not to strip completely.

“I uh, need to use the bathroom Rich.” Rob nudged his partner letting him know of his situation before they faced an unintentional repeat of last time.

“Beer is supposed to make the nerves go away, but sure thing Rob, just be quick.” Rich teased him as he made room for him to get past him. They were up next but Serge had picked out a long song to grind and hump to. Rob ran off towards the bathroom, flinging the door open he collided with a nervous looking Chip.

“I’m sorry there friend, I should be more careful of where I’m going.” Chip mumbled through his apology.

“It’s my fault Chip, too rushed. Hey, you’re looking sharp. What did you say you were doing again?” Rob commented on his outfit, he looked far less sparkly or showy than the rest of them. In fact, he looked dressed up; jacket, vest, slacks, and a hat.

“Dancing. My parents had me take tap and jazz dancing when I was younger.” The big smile was back on Chip’s face, something that was much more familiar than the stressed and worried look.

“Cool. Cool. See you later.” Rob turned away from the younger man and concluded his business before washing his hands and heading back out. He got back just in time to watch Maury take to the stage again as Serge finished his routine. He grabbed his guitar and took to the stage with Rich.

They had rehearsed a couple of silly songs that allowed for them to do some improve stand-up in between, it was similar to their panel together. They had a good energy that had them feeding off each other and the audience was quick to pick up on that too. It wasn’t long before they had the whole place laughing with them.

Rob actually felt a bit braver with a guitar between himself and the crowd. He could slip into a role with it and become someone else, it was one of the things he loved about acting. Rich was happy to make the crowds laugh with their song and story. Trading bits back and forth they almost went over their five-minute allotment. Tips were actually coming in at a steady pace, they had their regular fans, but it seemed that being able to make the crowds laugh had its value too.

They both left the stage wearing the same amount of clothing that they had gone up with, much to Serge’s disappointment.  
Sue was next and she finally dropped the fluffy bathrobe. A jewel toned crop top with fringe and beading paired with a mid-length loose flowing skirt, showed off her stomach and highlighted her features. Serge whistled appreciatively from his place on the couch, Matt frowned and grumbled something under his breath. She winked at them both before pushing up to the stage.

The audience cheered loudly, a handful of guys could be heard whooping, as she bounced her hips to the music. It was no Shakira but it was still an impressive display of dancing. The crowd cheered her on and shouted encouragement at her, she might have let on during her panel that she was going to do something that she felt apprehensive about. She wasn’t above using her fans to her advantage, she knew that using the woman power vibe would get her points.

“I think my bucket was looking a little full out there, Matthew.” She teased as she crossed back through the curtains.

Matt grumbled and stormed up to the stage not letting Maury give him a full introduction.  
Maury shook his head as he pushed through the curtain and poured himself a drink, Matt was shouting at the audience as he did his strong-man work out routine. The women in the audience screaming as he ripped through his shirt exposing his abs and did more flexing. Sounds of coins bouncing off the stage as people who were unable to get to the stage started throwing them up on the stage. Matt retreated avoiding getting pelted by the hard coins, who tipped in coins? At least he saw that his bucket was looking fatter than the others.

Maury took back to the stage to wrap up Matt’s performance since he didn’t get to give it an introduction. He made a few jokes, including how he didn’t have a bucket, which got some of the crowd chanting ‘Get A Fanci Bucket!’ and eventually a small beach pail showed up with some stickers and glitter decorations with a handful of change at the bottom of it. It was time for the final introduction for the final act.

“Alright we’ve only got one show left so prepare yourself for Dan Gleebitz.” Maury pulled the microphone away from his mouth, but you could still hear him cursing himself for falling for it. The murmuring behind stage was in confusion until Chip stood up and grabbed his hat, sending a smoldering wink towards the group of them. He spun around deftly and sauntered through the curtains onto a dimly lit stage. The music was something that sounded like a jazz number.

“He told me he’s doing a dance routine, apparently he knows tap and jazz?” Rob whispered to the others. None of them could see the show but they were curious as to why the audience was enjoying themselves so much. The whistles and whoops were louder and there were a couple of shouts that were unintelligible from their side of the curtain. His five minutes were up and he came backstage in a state of undress that was leaving Serge slack-jawed. Somehow, he was wearing suspenders attached to only a pair of booty shorts but he was still wearing the hat.

Maury thanked the crowd and said that there wasn’t enough time for him to do his rendition of Sue’s dance but that they were probably better off for it, cueing the appropriate laughter. Counting the tips would take place after the show and announcing the total would happen during the boy’s panel the next day. Pulling back the curtain enough to flounce in, Maury gave Chip a glare.

“What the hell Chip! Warn a man next time!” he hissed as he ripped off the wig. Handlers and volunteers were bringing the buckets backstage, ignoring the actors and the drama that came with them.

“Aw shucks, did I mess something up? I’m awfully sorry if I did, Maury. I just wanted to help out.” Chip somehow was managing to be innocent and naïve despite wearing nothing but his shoes, the short-shorts, suspenders, and the hat.

“You can drop the ‘aw shucks’ thing right now! I saw what you did up there, and it was not something an ‘aw shucks’ person would do. I need whiskey, a lot of whiskey.” He all but stormed out leaving the rest of the group even more curious about what had happened up there.

“You guys can go back to your rooms, we’ll get the counts by tomorrow.” Beth yawned, not even bothering to cover it. She had spent the entire day trying to get the actors where they needed to be and when they needed to. Even spending extra time this evening to make sure things went smoother than usual, and that Serge knew he had to keep his pants on. She was not ready to stay any later than she already had.

“Nonono! I want to know how much I won by tonight.” Matt demanded, stomping his feet childishly. He was honestly a little bit worried now that he hadn’t done as well as he thought.

“We don’t have a quick count on the money, but I can tell you that Chip easily brought in the most.” The volunteer pointed at the bucket that was overstuffed, bills sticking up through the crack in the top, there were tens and possibly a couple twenties mixed in with the ones. Matt looked like he was going to throw a fit, his face was getting red and his lips were pursed together tight. Instead of starting to yell and scream he just took off and left the others. Sue lost herself to the loud laughter that erupted from her, she wiped at her eyes as she tried giving Chip a thumbs up as he left the room.

“You aren’t upset that you lost?” Rich asked bringing up an eyebrow. She had been very competitive during the whole time and he was surprised that she was taking her loss so well.

“Hell no. I’m just happy that Matty lost. That prick deserved to be knocked down and this is perfect.” Her grin was large as she threw back another drink.

“Hey, it’s up already” Osric had changed back into his normal clothes and was on his phone when he waved everyone over. Serge was already over his shoulder and was looking flushed and amazed.

“Well that was quick” Rob commented as they all crowded around Osric’s phone.  
Osric slid his finger across the screen bringing the video back to the beginning and brought the volume up as loud as he could get it. The sounds of Maury’s introduction as well as the loud noises coming from the crowd left something to be desired about the sound quality of the music, but at least the camera work was steady.

Through the small speakers of his phone came the opening chords of a song that had a jazz quality to it, the piano being backed up by what sounded like a standing bass and a trumpet. And the spot light came on illuminating Chip in his full getup. He did dance a bit to the music, teasing the audience with little gyrations and the slow removal of his jacket. It was half off resting on the crooks of his elbows when he reached up to pull off the hat before shaking his head and winking towards the audience leaving the hat in place as his song suggested. The jacket came all the way off and was tossed to the side of the stage where it wouldn’t get in the way of his dancing.

The screams got louder through the small speakers causing them to sound shrill and metallic, Osric responded by turning down the volume. On the small screen Chip had undone the buttons to his vest, letting it sit open as he pulled loose the tie around his neck letting the silky fabric slide slowly through the collar of his shirt.

“Mon Dieu,” Serge whispered as they watched Chip slowly lose his clothing piece by piece to the song. The dancing that went along with it only served to accent the stripping. Rich coughed awkwardly, thankful for being at the back of the group where no one could see his face flush. He reached forward to ground himself by touching Rob, their fingers wound together while the others were distracted by the video.

The vest was off showing the suspenders that had been under them, the tie was on the ground somewhere and his shirt was undone exposing tanned skin under it. Chips fingers worked the belt buckle as he swayed to the music, teasing the leather out from the loops real slow. The simple movement causing the crowd to start cheering loudly again for more. Pulling the belt free with a snap he gave the audience a heated smile and a wink as he tugged on the brim of the hat that was still on his head.

Chip teased the suspenders over his shoulders as he continued his slow dance movements. Once they were hanging from his waist he slipped out of the shirt in a motion that was elegant and sexy at the same time. The muscles on his back flexed showing their strength as he faced away from the audience while he danced. The suspenders came back up, taking his time allowing to flex some while he did, there was muscle and strength there that none of them had even imagined Chip had. Sue let out a low whistle of appreciation as they watched the video progress.

The dancing continued with movements that showed off strength and flexibility while teasing the audience. Chip bent over almost folding himself in half as he grabbed at one of his ankles his fingers playing with something before sliding both hands up the length of his leg. He danced a bit more before coming the center of the stage, his hands coming to the center of his waistband. His fingers fumbled with the button and fly but didn’t actually undo anything, he gave the audience a quick look and brought his hand up shaking a finger at them as he smiled before spinning into another dance move. Repeating the early motion he bent over and slid his hands slowly up his other leg, giving the audience a big wink.

“You can leaeaaeave your hat ooooon” the music was coming to an end as the singer’s voice drew out the words. Chip was once again center stage and let his body bend over before arching back up tugging hard at his pants as he did. The pants tore away showing off the small booty shorts that hugged tightly against his skin, sending the audience into a loud frenzy. Osric left the volume where it was too stunned with what they had watched together to move. Serge let out a whine when the video ended and didn’t automatically loop back on itself.

“I-I-I, Uh.. I didn’t know Chip er, uh. Did, did we um? Just watch that?” Rob stuttered his way through his half questions, his face flushed after watching the whole video. His fingers twitched nervously, Rich giving them a gentle squeeze.

“I think we just did. And we just learned something about Chip. Someone needs to tell him that that wasn’t Jazz dance.” Sue commented before she shook her head to clear the images. She was almost out of the door when she called back to the group, “I call not it.”

“I’ll do it for a private show!” Serge called out as he bounded out of the room. Osric had already gone back to his phone and was trying to find recordings of the other shows while answering tweets. He made it out the door without looking up from the screen.

“Think he could teach me some of those moves?” Rich asked as he and Rob were the last ones left behind.

“You don’t have the coordination to pull it off.” Rob responded as they bumped shoulders walking down the wall together towards their rooms. They didn’t win, but knowing that Matt didn’t win either had them feeling like they had won something.

**Author's Note:**

> Pamela Stanley - "You can keep your hat on"


End file.
